The Power of Habits in Happiness

I've been listening to lot of podcasts and reading a lot of material on happiness. I'm discovering so many fascinating things and I just wanted to share a few.

Habits have got such a bad reputation. I always hear people say "that is such a bad habit" or "I really have break this habit" or "you don't want that to become a habit". I've always had a negative perception about habits, until I started reading "Better than Before - Mastering the Habits of Our Everyday Lives" by Gretchen Rubin. Habits can be the difference between happiness and discontentment. Why? The answer is so obvious - because habits can also be good, and they shape every day of our lives.

Gretchen Rubin explains that in order to become better at creating healthy, positive habits, you have to learn about yourself and understand how your mind operates. It's not that we don't know ourselves, but rather that sometimes we are not mindful of our behaviours. For example, do you function better in the morning or at night? Do you enjoy the rush of a deadline or do you work methodically and slowly in order to avoid the panic of a looming deadline? When making a change do you take small steps or make one drastic change? There are more questions like this and by knowing the answers you can tailor your habits to suit your lifestyle and personality.

According to this book, every person fits in to one of four categories. She calls these "The Four Tendencies"

1) Upholder - you readily meet inner and outer expectations

2) Questioner - resists outer expectations, meets inner expectations

3) Obliger - meets outer expectations, resists inner expectations

4) Rebel - resists inner and outer expectations

I'm definitely an upholder. I love habits and I enjoy the stability of routine. My expecations of myself are just as important as the expecations of the people around me. Being an upholder is great for forming habits, but the other tendencies may find it more difficult. A questioner needs justifcation for why they do anything, an obliger will always try to please others and struggle to do things for themselves, so good habits can be a struggle to implement, and rebels will naturally want to do the opposite of what seems expected.

Once you know which catergory you fall under and more about yourself, you can look at how to implement good habits into your life. There are a number of strategies described in the book, for example monitoring, accountability, scheduling and a long list of other methods. The ones I have mentioned are the more obvious ones. If you're an obliger and you're always so busy doing things for other people, but you want to do something for yourself, like read more or start running, accountability is a great strategy. You can make your inner expectation and outer expectation and then you're set. If you're a questioner, monitoring is great because you need to know WHY you should be creating a habit, and keeping a close eye on your actions will give you all the data you need to make an informed decision.

We can all create habits that make our lives happier, healthier and easier. The four foundational habits that boost self-control and therefore strengthen the foundation to keep any other habits are:

1) Sleep

2) Move

3) Eat and drink right

4) Unclutter

I.e Go to bed at a reasonable time, do some exercise, watch what you eat and keep your environment organised.

If we can form habits in these 4 areas, we will be much better equipt to start implementing all the other good habits we want to form.

Not everyone loves a habit and that's ok - I think the lesson is more to eradicate the behaviours and patters that make us unhappy. Pinpoint those patterns, figure out a way fix them. For example, I started noticing a collection of "stuff" on the beside tables in my room. Every time I looked at it I felt this deep sense of discontentment but I did nothing about it. Now I de-clutter the bedside tables of magazines, mugs, books, glasses etc. every morning before I go to work. Ta-da! Happiness. It sounds trivial, but those little things weigh us down.

If any of this sounds interesting to you - you have to read this book! I'm not even finished it yet and I've already learned so much.

I have loved the process of figuring out what my behaviours are (good and bad), and working towards an easier, anxiety free life. If you feel like these kinds of changes resonate with you please join The Balance Project for the 28 Day Re-design challenge group. This will be a free accountability group in which we will be looking at four fundamental areas of our lives and working towards improving them, one week at a time.

Week 1: Fitness

Week 2: Clean Eating

Week 3: Productivity

Week 4: Personal Development

Please send us a message in the contact sheet below and we'll include you in the group! Who's in?!